Snoozetalk

Full up with that joie de vivre, feeling an electrical surge through my fingertips. If happiness is a conscious decision, I'm going to take it and run.

I've decided on my first tattoo: a semi colon on the haunch of my hand. Instead of an ampersand. Instead of those guidelines. Again, it's that 'something more' bit, but it will hopefully also remind me to pause when I'm disregarding myself.

Frantic

Have to have to put my
face on,
have to cover it all up, have to hide this all.
Sullen, smirky, sad.
Feeling that mania stirring in my
stomach.

Laugh it off.

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until an hour later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

Today, I found out why everyone laughs my beautiful, new, expensive wooden dining table. There is a very prominent natural outline in the wood in the shape of a huge penis. FML

I think what scares me is that

I don't know what I want.
Girl, Interrupted.

Pleasepleaseplease

BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - An octopus with possible psychic powers, who has correctly picked the winner of Germany’s four World Cup matches so far, on Tuesday tipped Germany to beat Argentina in their World Cup quarter-final match on Saturday.

Paul, a two-year-old octopus born in England now living in a German aquarium, has a 100-percent winning streak at the World Cup — and even accurately predicted Serbia would beat Germany in their Group D match-up earlier in the tournament.

The eight-legged octopus, a denizen of Sea Life in the western town of Oberhausen, has turned into a celebrity oracle for getting all four picks right so far — including last Sunday’s elimination round match when Germany beat England.

On Tuesday, Paul once again was given the choice of picking food from two different plastic containers lowered into his tank — one with an Argentine flag on it and one with a German flag.

The container Paul opens first is seen as his pick. Paul moved cautiously and spent about 45 minutes mulling his decision before eating the food in the box with the German flag — suggesting a hard-fought win in extra time or even penalties.

Last week Paul ignored the England container and quickly went for the container with the Germany flag — which was taken as a hint that Germany would win a decisive victory

“It took Paul a really long time to make up his mind today for the Argentina-Germany match,” said Sea Life spokeswoman Tanja Munzig. “Even after he opened the Germany container it took him a while to go in and eat the clam.”

Munzig said, by contrast, it took Paul only seconds to decide before the England match to go for the Germany container.

“That it took him so long to make up his mind suggests it’ll be a very tense match against Argentina that won’t be decided until the very end — maybe not even until penalties,” she said.

Munzig also denied any suggestion the containers were rigged. The morsel of food is identical and the containers are lined up in the same order as FIFA. Argentina was on the left side on Tuesday (because the match is Argentina-Germany) whereas England was on the right last week (Germany-England).

“There are no tricks, the food is the same and everything in the two containers is the same except for the flags,” she said.

So how does Paul do it?

“That’s his secret,” she said.

(Reporting by Erik Kirschbaum; editing by Paul Casciato)

I feel you holding on.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever.

Pinky Promise

Hate this.

I was so happy earlier.
Coming home makes me sad, because I make everyone else sad.

Why don't they have video reviewing in soccer?

I mean, yeah, I was cheering for Germany, but still.

I love the way

light hits leaves.

Problems of life.

Fucking pizzacheese. It's such an accomplishment when I manage to eat a slice without the cheese coming off.

Be reckless.

The square means to me the balance, the perfect proportion, the non-natural thing.

Neato burrito

This is my first tattoo based on some drawings I made. It’s an abstract visualisation of the concept of metaphysical roots as facilitators of potential - they can be the basis for anything else to me.
SO COOL.

I wish I could be blasé

about my scars.

Paints

I always internalize.

Seriously considering this.

Should I

coward/failure/fat/lazy/miserable/despicable/why can everyone else do these things but me.

there she goes again.

♥Calvin&Hobbes

They've always got holes in them.

There she goes again, mixing melodies with the memories.

secretsblog

1475) Everybody tells me I’m skinny. But I just want to get skinnier.

1445) Sometimes, I feel invisible. Like, no one knows that I’m here at all.

1436) I’m not ready to be okay, to feel better. I think, for now, it’s better to be hurt. I’m so afraid of the day that I’m going to be okay.

1352) Stop lying to me.

1300) I don’t know who I am. And honestly, it scares me.

Double-take

This isn't a painting; Alexa Meade paints on real humans in acrylics.

Let it all fly away.

“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long."
Sylvia Plath

For the Future.

So I want to go to some sort of sporting event or concert and be one of those people that go all out. Costumes, wigs, face paint. I want to scream my throat out. I want to be caught up in that excitement!

Pour être belle

I think I'll go check out that tattoo place this week.

Day One.

Your Best Friend

This one is easy; that's you, of course, Hannah. Honestly I don't know how I would have made it through this year without you. You're the only one who completely understands everything I'm dealing with right now. Yeah, we met under awkward and foggy circumstances, and bonded, really, over drugs, but that doesn't change the fact that our friendship has grown and flourished into something really special. Who else could I do these crazy things with? Who else could be there for me when I had to rant, and who else could I trust with every minute detail of my life? There really are no words to descrive what you mean to me, so I'm going to leave it with an "I love you."
-Mel

What do you want

All I want to do right now is:
a) SLEEP. I'm falling asleep at the table right now.
b) Go check out paint chips and flooring at Home Depot
c) Paint
d) Get pierced
However, I am unable to do all of these things because I have way too many overdue projects in Ancient Civ! If I sit down and finish two projects and commit the textbook to memory, I will pass this class with a decent mark. Realistically, I know that's not going to happen. I will end up failing the exam. So should I even bother?

so much to do.

Why can't I break through this fucking fog in my head?

Summer plans

*Work as much as possible
*Renovate my room (walls, floor, accessories, furnishings)
*Party like a madwoman
*Get my ampersand side tattoo, maybe the second week of July
*Get my tongue web pierced (during the three weeks when I would otherwise have been in Ghana)
*Stretch my ears up to 1/2"
*Grow out my hair
*Wear as little makeup as possible
*Volunteer somewhere (not sure where yet)
*Get skinny (gym 3x+/week, restrictrestrictrestrict)
*Complete my owl series and my alien series
*Watch the World Cup
*Write and SEND a letter to Fatima, my sponsored child
*Figure out how lightbulbs work
*Research universities and alternate options
*Plan a volunteer trip for Winter Break - even if it means not going to France. Ask my parents after midterms in the fall.
*Maybe get my nose pierced?
*Go to WWOHP (I wish this was possible)

Needing nicotine.

age restrictions. I think I'll buy a fake ID this summer.

See?

This is what happens when people find out.

Set tracks.

Sometimes I feel like a wind-up toy.

Teddy

I want this boy.

Superheroes.

My momma got a bunch of graphic novels from the library today! So excited. I love superheroes.

Mmhm,

yes, tea please - black, two-and-a-half sugars.

Dear Reader,

I wish you were here, too.

Filaments

Mad, yes Ma'am.

^^

But it starts tomorrow.