Sitches.

Socially Awkward Situation #1:
You’re in class and you want to cough. Some other guy just coughed, now you have to wait.

Socially Awkward Situation #2:
Someone calls in your direction. You raise your hand to wave. It turns out they weren’t calling you. You casually fake a head-scratch. It’s too late; everyone saw.

Socially Awkward Situation #3:
You sit down on a chair and it makes a fart-like noise. You attempt to make the noise several more times so that everyone knows you didn’t really fart.

Socially Awkward Situation #4:
You hold the door open for one person. Now you have to hold it for everyone behind them; if you let go, they’ll think you’re selfish and un-mannered.

Socially Awkward Situation #5:
Talk to your date while eating. Accidentally spit a tiny bit of food onto them.

Socially Awkward Situation #6:
“Excuse me, do you stock ________?” But they don’t work there.

Socially Awkward Situation #7:
He goes in for a high-five. You go in for props. The result looks like a kung-fu stance.

Socially Awkward Situation #8:
Walk into the washroom and the stalls are full; pretend you only came here to wash your hands then leave.

Socially Awkward Situation #9:
You check your phone because you have nothing to say to the conversation.

Socially Awkward Situation #10:
Someone comes online; you say “hey”, they go offline.

Socially Awkward Situation #11:
The person in front is walking slightly slower than you are. You walk at an uncomfortable speed to get past them.

Socially Awkward Situation #12:
Someone you vaguely know is walking in front of you. You maintain distance.

Socially Awkward Situation #13:
You say “hi” to someone. It comes out as a whisper.

Socially Awkward Situation #14:
You fart and sneeze at the same time.

hypo

This is hard.

I don't understand how people do it.
Not eat, I mean. Stay so so thin and perfect.
I can'tcan'tcan't anymore and it's
scaring me:

fat/fat/fat/stupid/lazy/fat

I thought I was better.
Today I'm sensing a bit of a slide: purges, giving in to my bad habits.

I could kill for a cigarette.

Hah

403):
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen.'

330):
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Sounds like an excuse I would make.

Today, my biggest fear is that he will grow up and sincerely wish that I had gone through with it and put him up for adoption. MMT

Today, I told my father I would laugh if he died. He stared at me shocked for a second, then remembered he was playing a video game. MLIA
Paradigm shift.

Today, my new neighbors moved in. When I went over to welcome them, I discovered that they were my parents. They made a cross-country trip so they could move in next-door to "make sure I wasn't making bad decisions with my life". I'm 27 and married. FML

bend and break

The days have been wonderful recently. This new guy is good for me.I just finished a homework assignment, which in itself is an accomplishment, and I get to see my best friend tonight. Things are looking up, up, up, optimism soaring sky-high.

I really hope this isn't just a blip, a bump in the road of my depression. I don't want to sink back down to those depths that loom so tantalizingly just in the corners of my eyes. I want to stay right here.

I want to be that girl who's always smiling, always interesting.

and crossbones.

I remember.

So I thought you wanted to stay close?

Scared.

Today, I realized I need to make a change. Because all I can think about as I sit here at work is, “Am I really capable of doing this for another 30 years?” MMT

Today, when I asked him why he preferred fiction to nonfiction, he said, “Because fiction makes sense.” MMT

Today, when she took her own life, I died inside too. MMT

Today, my brother looked at me through the prison visitation window, crying, and said, “I'm so jealous of you, and people like you, who can so easily say no to drugs.” MMT

Today I was diagnosed with cancer. Yesterday I retired after being ultra frugal for 40 years and saving diligently for my retirement. MMT

Today, he is the best man in my wedding. Nine years ago, on my first day in the office, he was the random guy I shared a laugh with simply because we were wearing the same exact tie. MMT

Today, with tears in my eyes, I told my father, “I don’t know who they want me to be!” He smiled, put his arm on my shoulder and said, “It’s not about being who they want you to be. It’s about being yourself and finding others who are okay with it.” MMT

Weatherman.

So where did my thunderstorm go?

Truth.

Yeah, it didn't work out so great, did it?

Hymn #1

Exquisite.

Today, when I told him, “I can’t wait until I have more vacation time,” he said, “Instead of always waiting for your next vacation, you ought to create a life you don’t need to escape from.” MMT

Is it perfect in our little hell?

Man, everything seems so foreign. Situations, I mean. It's like I was airlifted to another world and lived semi-comatose for a while, but now I'm awake and seeing everything anew. Seeing the subtexts. But it's weird, it's all so weird because I don't recognize these things anymore. In a good way, though, I think.

Hedgehogs.

Why do I love them so much?
Hitting a "high," dreading the crash. Life goes in waves like this. Right now I'm in a happy phase. It's nice.

I'm so impatient.

Naturally

I want these.

Sugar