I'm not who they want, although I could revert back to it. These past few days I've been almost completely clean, and it feels right. It feels like I could go on like this. But the allure, although weaker, is still there - I could go without smokes, but when I have the opportunity, I will take it and draw in those toxins. I've been happier, clearer, without marijuana in my body. But I crave that high. I've hit the top of the parabola and now I'm heading back downwards towards depression, itching to start that vicious cycle again: use, feel great, crash down low, use to escape, feel great, crash down low, use again. I can feel myself heading there.
My mom's got valid points. But I don't want to give this up. I don't want to give these people up. I don't know how else to deal with stress. And it's fun, for God's sake. People need to fucking chill and let me be.
